Baby Steps

My "baby steps" park

People ask me all the time how I am doing since my pituitary surgery 4 months ago. I am almost embarrassed to answer because my answer sounds much the same as it did before my surgery. I usually say, "It depends on the day... sometimes good and sometimes not so good." I know it sounds vague and after having the surgery so many people are expecting me to be "all better". How I wish that were so.My Cushie friends remind me I was sick for a very long time and its going to take my body a long time to catch up and re-set itself. I am feeling, for the most part, really good. I have good energy days and not so good energy days. The horrible fatigue that was part of my life for so long disappeared the moment I awoke from surgery, and has not returned. Thankfully. However, I still get tired but that, too, is getting better. The weakness in my muscles is still there. Some days it causes me problems and other days it doesn't. Do you see now why my answers are so ambivalent sounding? For now, I just take each day as it comes. Its all I can do, otherwise I get extremely frustrated and impatient. I was reminded of this when I went for a walk today. Its been a month since my 2 mile walk day. I crashed hard after that, unfortunately, and its taken me a month, some hydrocortisone, and a pep talk from some of my Cushie friends to get back on track. I'm off the hyrdo now and feeling pretty good thanks to adding some testosterone into my daily regime. (it helps with muscle weakness, sleeping, and energy) I am taking so many hormones right now I could make another person! But back to today. I made myself start out slowly and walked two laps around the park. That's not much by my old standards. I used to walk 5 miles a day and at a pretty good clip. My legs won't do that right now, so I had to remind myself that this was my baby steps day. Its almost as if I have to re-learn how to walk and to re-train muscles that haven't been used in a very long time. I can accomplish this. And I can build upon it. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. One day I'll have my muscles working again. One day I'll walk five miles again. But, for today, twice around the track at the park was just right.

Finding Peace

One of my Cushie friends posted this on Facebook. It is so beautiful that I wanted to share it here. Not only is the performance heart touching, but also the words. I looked up the song as I wasn't familiar with it and found the supposed story of how it came to be. I needed to hear this song and read this story. It reminds me so very profoundly that no matter what happens, it is well. God is in charge and all will be well.
It is Well

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

He lives--oh, the bliss of this glorious thought;
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more.
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Oh my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

And, Lord, haste the day when our faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trumpet shall sound, and the Lord shall descend;
Even so, it is well with my soul...

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

~~Horatio Gates Spafford
[1873]

In 1871, tragedy struck Chicago as fire ravaged the city. When it was all over, 300 people were dead and 100,000 were homeless. Horatio Gates Spafford was one of those who tried to help the people of the city get back on their feet. A lawyer who had invested much of his money into the downtown Chicago real estate, he'd lost a great deal to the fire. And his one son (he had four daughters) had died about the same time. Still, for two years Spafford--who was a friend of evangelist Dwight Moody--assisted the homeless, impoverished, and grief-stricken ruined by the fire.

After about two years of such work, Spafford and his family decided to take a vacation. They were to go to England to join Moody and Ira Sankey on one of their evangelistic crusades, then travel in Europe. Horatio Spafford was delayed by some business, but sent his family on ahead. He would catch up to them on the other side of the Atlantic.

Their ship, the Ville de Havre, never made it. Off Newfoundland, it collided with an English sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and sank within 20 minutes. Though Horatio's wife, Anna, was able to cling to a piece of floating wreckage (one of only 47 survivors among hundreds), their four daughters--Maggie, Tanetta, Annie, and Bessie--were killed. Horatio received a horrible telegram from his wife, only two words long: "saved alone."

Spafford boarded the next available ship to be near his grieving wife, and the two finally met up with Dwight Moody. "It is well," Spafford told him quietly. "The will of God be done."

Though reports vary as to when he did so, Spafford was led during those days of surely overwhelming grief to pen the words to one of the most beautiful hymns we know, beloved by Christians lowly and great.

survive the journey: Stars Go Blue

survive the journey: Stars Go Blue


Click on the link underneath the title to read a story about a mother's love and the strength and the courage of a little girl who was born with Cushing's Disease. It speaks for itself so I won't add much other than to thank Robin for writing it so beautifully and sharing the story of this beautiful family. God bless all of you.